If these things fell into the toilet, this is what I’d do.

Retrieve it:

  • Hat/Gloves/Scarves
  • Boom box stereo
  • Porcelain figurine

Flush it, hoping it will disintegrate into the water:

  • Small trial size toiletries
  • The Magna Carta
  • Silly Putty

Freak out, quietly saying to myself “what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do?!?!*”

  • Everything else

*Now, if the toilet isn’t empty, there are no options but the last.


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