12.09.2002 10:37AM
How old are you? More importantly, how old do you act--I mean, feel?

leo   12.09.2002 10:45AM
Born in 79.

1679. Great year for whine.

I act (and feel) like a 23 year old college student just discovering the joys of sadamasichism.

I'm sure we can all relate.

website

Madame Fab   12.09.2002 10:48AM
What are your measurements? What are your turn-ons?
What do you like about being a playboy centerfold?

website

leo   12.09.2002 10:49AM
Oh, and typos. We can't forget the joy of typos. (sadomasichism)

Madame fab -
36, 36, 36. When not blogging, I'm a stunt double for a 2x4.

I've realised that my turn ons include the unnecessary 'U' and the 'S' where there should really be a Z'

My favourite part of being a centerfold is that the staples hide the track marks from those years of heroin abuse.

website

  12.09.2002 11:18AM
How much time do you spend online every day?

  12.09.2002 11:27AM
And, are these supposed to be FAQ-like questions (repetitive, I know) or just free-for-all questions? Because, if the former, shouldn't all questions be asked at least three times to get Frequent status?

leo   12.09.2002 11:50AM
1) I've actually got an ethernet cable directly hooked up through my left nostril.

Sure, it makes driving a bitch, but ever since wireless connections were invented, I'm finally able to leave my hometown.

Actually - I'm a web developer. A busy one, who rarely eats. So at least 8 hours a day, due to work. Factor in freelance gigs, and you'll understand why I'm creeping slowly towards insanity.

If it wasn't for this job, I'd be a hippie in Montana, singing folks songs with my 'posse'. Wait no, I mean outlaw in Montana. Only outlaws get posses. Well, outlaws and Arsenio Hall.

2) This is the only time I get asked questions, ergo, whenever people ask me something, they ask me these questions. If you write it out, and draw little pie charts and stuff, it makes total sense. I SWEAR.

But maybe you're right. Questions will deemed frequently asked or infrequently asked by the accounting firm of Pricewaterhousecoopers. Yes, the same folks who do the Ms. America pageant.

Yes, it's because I care.

website

  12.09.2002 12:13PM
Have you found my other earring yet?

leo   12.09.2002 12:27PM
Yes, but then I lost it in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Tip, for all you aspiring rps fanatics. When playing Edward Scissorhands, never, I mean never pick paper.

I kept thinking "what kind of fool does scissors the entire time... I bet this one will be rock..."

website

sally   12.09.2002 12:32PM
if you were a tree, what would you be?

email  |  website

leo   12.09.2002 12:38PM
Sally - Shoe

website

  12.09.2002 12:59PM
do you play an instrument? if so, where is the most unusual place you've played it?

  12.09.2002 1:08PM
do you talk in your sleep?

Ninja   12.09.2002 1:10PM
Boxers or briefs?
Brocolli or cauliflower?
Coke or Pepsi?
Heroin or crack?

website

leo   12.09.2002 1:22PM
re: instrument. I play no instruments. The only thing I play with is your mind (well, and your slightly used underwear, but that's only when you've gone off to work).

re: talking in sleep. I wouldn't know. You see, I'm sleeping. Now I'm not sure how you folks sleep, but my journeys into dreamland involve some sort of, I dunno, lack of consciousness?

But, I care about you. Next time I'm awake while I'm sleeping, I'll see if I'm talking. Or at least pantomiming something. Possibly a scene from The Pirates of Penzance, but with me you never know.

Ninja -
1) Aluminum Foil.
2) For consumption or sculpting?
3) Depends. I prefer freshly squeezed Pepsi, but sometimes I can make with some coke. But only a couple lines, cuz that shite's bad for you.
4) See my response to Madame Fab's question, and infer your answer from that.

website

julia   12.09.2002 1:32PM
1) if a train left new york at 6:00 am, traveling east, how many apples would sally have?
2) who is buried in grant's tomb?
3) who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?
4) who loves ya, baby?

email  |  website

leo   12.09.2002 1:38PM
1) Depends.
Does sally like apples? Cuz if so, how do you like deez apples?

[holds up basket of Granny Smith]

Nice, eh? I picked em myself.

2) Ulysses S. Grant
3) Ulysses S. Grant
4) Apparently for $75 USD, a lot of folks will.

website

  12.09.2002 1:59PM
re: re: sleep talking.

OR the next time someone is in close proximity to you while you sleep you could ask *them*.

leo   12.09.2002 2:16PM
Sure, like I don't get lied to enough in bed.

"You don't talk in your sleep, Leo."

Add that to the ever growing list...
"You're the best ever, Leo"
"Leo, it happens to a lot of guys"
and
"Oh no, the llama doesn't freak me out at all"

Thanks, but no thanks.

And she said she loved animals. Bah.

website

  12.09.2002 2:28PM
Does my butt look fat in these jeans?

leo   12.09.2002 2:32PM
Nah, baby, everything you put on looks perfect. Now come over here and give daddy some suga.

Mmhmm... that's right. You know how I like it.

Oooh! Baby!!!!

Yeah.. you know I agree! No matter how tight it is, there's ALWAYS room for Jello! Mmm!

website

the V   12.09.2002 2:26PM
1) why do you put USD after every monetary amount?

2) how does code break?

3) who's the hottest person you KNOW?

4) if you could be a woman who would it be?

5) if you went gay who would you go gay for?

6) who's burt bacharach?

7) why is the sky blue?

--all this to make up for not getting to this website earlier!

leo   12.09.2002 3:14PM
Of course, the hardest questions come from those who actually know me.

V -
1) USD, because of my utter fascination with acronyms. Or as I like to put it, B.O.M.U.F.W.A.

2) Code breaks if you push it too far to the edge. We've all got our limits man... don't test it.

3) Right now, Twitch. He's easily the hottest person. I mean, it IS summertime down in Australia.

4) Boy George, post-op. (please, like you wouldn't be surprised)

5) Rachel Leigh Cook. I would SO dyke it up with her.

6) The guy who sang that song that one time. It was a good song. He was also in Austin Powers

[insert irritating imitation here, just to irritate Jodi]

7) Because you're a whore.

website

Patrick   12.09.2002 2:58PM
Who is your favorite roommate?
Who do you like better Pat or Art?
Which is cooler, the irish or filipinos named art?
I heard you masturbate to a picture of your roommate pat masturbating to a picture of pat masturbating to a picture of your other roommates girlfriend. Is that true?
And have you read Dianetics yet?

leo   12.09.2002 3:20PM
And now, for Patrick.

1) Tiger
2) Pat, but only because he's more likely to read this.
3) Scientologists
4) It's more of a sketch, than a picture.*
5) I've taken a small chunk out of it.

*You're an ass, because you totally fucked that comment up. For that, I no longer like you more than Art. You're only marginally above the toaster right.

But not the Foreman grill. I'd move out with that thing in a second.

website

the V   12.09.2002 3:26PM
who's the coolest person with a stutarded.com e-mail address that isn't "leo@stutarded.com"?

email

leo   12.09.2002 3:31PM
The person with 'az@stutarded.com'

website

  12.09.2002 3:31PM
most embarrassing moment, go!

the V   12.09.2002 3:55PM
i bet i know one of them...

leo   12.09.2002 3:52PM
Nice question!

I actually want to answer this one truthfully, but I can't think of anything that embarassing. Maybe it's just that I've repressed all those memories so far back into my head, that even when I search for them I can't find em.

Or maybe it's just that I don't get embarassed too often.

Probably, though, the memory loss stems from the fumes I've been huffing the entire.. whoa... it's all dizzy in here... i i feeell lso df e4e4wahi oaerfgvewa

website

sally   12.09.2002 3:48PM
Can we do the train travelling east at 6:00 with mangoes?

how do you like your eggs?

summer or winter?

Purple or blue?

water or fizzy water?

email  |  website

the V   12.09.2002 3:56PM
i've got two more for y'all...
look for the one who is "2 dope"

1   2

email

leo   12.09.2002 3:59PM
[comes to]

Actually, V, I'm quite proud of that moment. I'm a huge fan of mustard.

Sally -
1) Sorry. 6:00 is too late for mangoes. Round this neck of the woods, that's apple time.

2) Haphazardly thrown unto my head, thus signifying the impromptu start of a food fight.

3) Depends. Are they twins, or just sisters?

4) Plaid.

5) How did said water GET fizzy? If it involved chemicals in any way, I want the fizz. If it's 'pure' take it away.

My body's a temple, thank you very much.

Re: V's second post.
WOW! TEXT!!! OOOoooh!!! HOW EMBARASSING!!! It's the written word!! How incriminating.

And, because it's only fair, this is how I look, sans mustard. Slightly drunk, extremely tired, and with a digiFox.

website

the V   12.09.2002 4:06PM
don't try and play like that isn't you in the picture

leo   12.09.2002 5:20PM
V - my hair isn't THAT long.

Besides, I would never let a guy like that hold me. Not without a ring, of course...

website

Jessa   12.09.2002 7:07PM
because I'm too lazy, I'm not going to read through these questions to see if you've been asked this already (because frankly, 35 comments makes me sick - the nerve of you to get more comments than me. hmph!) anyway, the question:
if you had to listen to *one* album over and over for the rest of your life, what album would you choose, and why?

aaron   12.09.2002 7:32PM
Did you know that "Leo" can be rearranged to spell:

Oel
Ole
Elo
Eol, and
Loe ?

Also, do you agree with the US's recent policies towards China, especially considering that China appears to be on the verge of ensuring that no attempt is made ever again to censure its human rights practices at the United Nations? They are attempting to pull off an extraordinary feat of diplomacy and an equally extraordinary capitulation on the part of governments, particularly the United States and the countries of the European Union, that claim to favor multilateral initiatives as a way of exerting human rights pressure. One of the few remaining international fora to exert such pressure is the annual meeting of the U.N. Commission on Human Rights in Geneva — in session this year from March 10 to April 18 — where countries with particularly egregious human rights records can become the subject of resolutions. Every year save one since 1990, the U.S. and the E.U. have taken the lead, with support from Japan and other governments, in sponsoring a resolution on China, and every year save one, China has successfully blocked even debate on the subject. The threat of a resolution, however, has itself been an effective form of pressure, as illustrated by the time and resources China has spent in trying to counter it. How do you think that the current US Administration should deal with China's sidestepping and ongoing human rights issues, considering both the volatile global climate towards US Unilateralism, and the so-called "War On Terror?"

email  |  website

Madame Fab   12.09.2002 7:58PM
[swoons at Aaron's knowledge of the geo-political landscape]

website

leo   12.09.2002 9:28PM
Jeez. I'm never allowed to leave the house again, am I?

Jessa - Television's Greatest Hits, Vol 7. You know, something to guarantee my insanity.

Aaron - I was not aware of the permutations of my name. Thanks!

Tragically, I've always leaned towards a lassiez-faire stance regarding foreign affairs. I realise that it's often said WWII could have been avoided if Hitler had been stopped from invading Poland, and that those who ignore the mistakes of history are doomed to repeat it. But honestly.

Who are we to meddle in the affairs of another country, while employment-population ratio of ours lingers at 62.5% (reference). Is it not fair to say that we should get everything in order at home, before we go out and mess up somebody else's?

Unfortunately, my knowledge of politics and current affairs is quite limited, so continuing this line of conversation would be nothing less than embarassing for me. In addition, it would turn into some new kind of boring.

To finally answer your question I say yes, I would like some bananas.

website

sally   12.09.2002 9:21PM
white meat or dark meat?

sherry or port?

North Pole or South pole?

paper or plastic?

email  |  website

sally   12.09.2002 9:22PM
6 am or 6 pm?

mangoes or apples?

happy or merry?

crazy or insane?

email  |  website

leo   12.09.2002 9:52PM
now, sally.

1) Bone marrow
2) Wine in a box. doesn't matter what kind. As long as it's in a box.
3) Bi-polar
4) Latex
- - - -
1) No, it's at 10 O'Clock!! The bogey's at 10 O'Clock!!!
2) Mango apple blend, with a twist of Kiwi.
3) Happy. But I'm hoping to get much fatter, so I can finally be jolly.
4) Currently crazy. But, if I get enough money I'll eventually become 'eccentric'.

website

  12.09.2002 10:11PM
if a stranger ran up to you, completely out of breath, and shoved a paper bag containing 1 million bucks cash, into your arms, saying "take it! take it!you can keep it!" and no other explanation, then took off in the other direction, would you?

also, do you consider the above to be a run-on sentence or do you leave that to the grammar police?

leo   12.09.2002 10:46PM
This answer depends on who you are.

1) If you are a girl I'm trying to impress
- I'd only keep a little bit of it, and spread the rest out to my favourite charities.

2) If you are anyone else.
- I'd keep it all, and chase after the man hoping to mug him for other bags of cash.

3) Run-on sentence? More like FUN-on sentence!!

website

Jessa   12.10.2002 5:29AM
lol.. I just took a peek at your "linkage" for the first time, I think.. and I saw the little "yes I do have a soft side." it makes me sound like the softer side of Sears. lol. I just found that amusing. then again, I've been up since 4:30 this morning so... yeah.

email  |  website

  12.10.2002 6:47AM
Will this hilarity end sometime soon?

leo   12.10.2002 7:04AM
Jessa - Yes, you have been up since 4:30 AM. Oh wait, that wasn't a question. Sorry.

re: hilarity -
The fun never stops at stutarded.com!

Ok, that's a lie. But yes, I'm going to post something new later today. So please, no more questions. I'm running low on sarcasm and guffaw inducing comments.

I apologise if this question/answer forum wasn't to your liking.

website

Jodi   12.10.2002 8:18AM
Stop apologising. It's your fuckin' site, damn it. And you can do what you want with it. Even spell "apologize" with an "s" like you think you're Britizh.

website

sandy   12.10.2002 8:34AM
will you come take my finals for me so i can sleep?

email  |  website

leo   12.10.2002 8:40AM
I apologized because I tend to be benevolent in the morning. So if you ever want a pony, ask me in the morning.

Sandy - how's this. I'll take a nap midday today, but I'll give you all the rest and relaxation I get from it. Sounds perfect, doesn't it?

BUT - my favourite part is how the "please, no more questions" comment went unnoticed. (Although, Jodi didn't write a question, as it was more of a statement. No really, look. No question marks. See?)

website

sandy   12.10.2002 1:10PM
*is a huge failure*
i'm sorry, oh morning-benevolent one... i somehow missed your request for no more questions.

and, regarding your idea for my exam/sleep dilemma?
no dice.

email  |  website

the V   12.10.2002 1:57PM
why do you want to be british so badly? is it because i am really into british chicks?

leo   12.10.2002 2:13PM
sandy - no harm done. I didn't take a midday nap anyhow, so I guess I sorta screwed you over, huh?

V - I don't want to be britizh. I just think the way they spell things is aesthetically pleasing.

Besides, I couldn't be britizh. I don't like fish nearly enough, and I've never once stopped for a spot of tea.

To top it off, I don't even KNOW a guv'nor.

Damn. Now you're making me realise the things lacking from my life...

website